One Precursor to Departure; There Will Be Many
I'm such a jumbled ugly mess of emotion,
I don't even know where to start.
Let me put it to you this way:
I'm listening to Christmas music.
I am so not in the mood for anything fast,
Or upbeat, lively, or rockin.
But anything else threatens to send me into tears.
I guess you could say I'm not like other guys.
I'm excited to be leaving;
At least I don't want to be here anymore.
Don't get my wrong, my friends,
I love each and every one of you,
The thought of leaving you behind
Is like a thousand knives;
Or, as I've been told,
They can't cause that much pain.
No, it's just that I'm ready for a change,
I'm ready to be in a new setting,
Surrounded by new things that I'm not used to yet.
But how can I live without my home?
Is home where the heart is?
Because right now, that is neither here, nor there,
And I'd say nor anywhere but I know where it is,
I think,
Even though it could be misplaced;
Yet I suspect it isn't.
And how can I survive without everything that I know?
I'll learn new things, new people, new places,
But I'll still want to walk off the stage one last time,
And sit in the third row on the audience left,
Right on the end.
The song says "Who I am
Hates who I've been."
I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today,
Because I knew you.
And I don't know who I am,
And so I can't know if I really do
Hate who I've been.
But I suspect that who I am -
Though it's not what I thought it would be -
Is who I want to be.
It's a long and difficult road that I've traveled,
And I'm willing to bet that
If I knew everything that happened in advance,
I wouldn't change too much.
But this road has taught me many things,
Including pain and suffering -
Though of course there's ecstasy as well -
Laughter, tears, hugs and puzzles,
And most importantly love.
Now I have to learn hope, and patience,
Waiting and dreaming,
Wanting something for myself,
I've never done that before.
You all have rocked my world,
You all have been my life;
You all have made it hard, or easy,
Or just caused lots of strife.
But I can say to all of you,
And look you in the eye,
That without you I'd be nothing,
And so much more a guy (that's bad, for me).
But to you I just must say,
B I K Y, I H B C
For Good.
I don't even know where to start.
Let me put it to you this way:
I'm listening to Christmas music.
I am so not in the mood for anything fast,
Or upbeat, lively, or rockin.
But anything else threatens to send me into tears.
I guess you could say I'm not like other guys.
I'm excited to be leaving;
At least I don't want to be here anymore.
Don't get my wrong, my friends,
I love each and every one of you,
The thought of leaving you behind
Is like a thousand knives;
Or, as I've been told,
They can't cause that much pain.
No, it's just that I'm ready for a change,
I'm ready to be in a new setting,
Surrounded by new things that I'm not used to yet.
But how can I live without my home?
Is home where the heart is?
Because right now, that is neither here, nor there,
And I'd say nor anywhere but I know where it is,
I think,
Even though it could be misplaced;
Yet I suspect it isn't.
And how can I survive without everything that I know?
I'll learn new things, new people, new places,
But I'll still want to walk off the stage one last time,
And sit in the third row on the audience left,
Right on the end.
The song says "Who I am
Hates who I've been."
I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today,
Because I knew you.
And I don't know who I am,
And so I can't know if I really do
Hate who I've been.
But I suspect that who I am -
Though it's not what I thought it would be -
Is who I want to be.
It's a long and difficult road that I've traveled,
And I'm willing to bet that
If I knew everything that happened in advance,
I wouldn't change too much.
But this road has taught me many things,
Including pain and suffering -
Though of course there's ecstasy as well -
Laughter, tears, hugs and puzzles,
And most importantly love.
Now I have to learn hope, and patience,
Waiting and dreaming,
Wanting something for myself,
I've never done that before.
You all have rocked my world,
You all have been my life;
You all have made it hard, or easy,
Or just caused lots of strife.
But I can say to all of you,
And look you in the eye,
That without you I'd be nothing,
And so much more a guy (that's bad, for me).
But to you I just must say,
B I K Y, I H B C
For Good.
posted by Foolish Thing Nine at 7:59 PM
10 Comments:
Awesome, awesome, awesome. Definitely know what the letters stand for at the end. And, by the way, totally agree that we are the smartest people who went on the New York trip. Wicked rocks my socks off and definitely will be quoted often on my xanga.
LOL! I totally didn't even think about that when I put the thing at the end :) I hope that by the time you graduate that has as much meaning for you as it does for me.
I hope so too, thanks. Oh, and I read the unabridged version of Les Mis, of course.
Hey man! Thanks for your words...I appreciated them. Glad to hear you like Foolish Things! I am actually really good friends with them. Isaac taught me to play guitar, and I am best friends with his little brother who was taught bass by Nate. I was actually in a band called All at Once (allatonceband.com)for the past 5 years mainly because we grew up under FT in the same church. They are awesome guys and its good to meet fans of theirs!
You know I love you, and this is awesome. If I wasn't sitting in a public computer lab,I would be bawling. Hope to see you sunday! I still don't know if I'm coming home or not, but I definitely want to swing! Love Ya!
It stands for: "Bison Interhpasing Karate-Chops Yodeling, so Install Hairy Backups Continually."
At least that's what I'm guessing.
We'll miss you SO MUCH this year! Before school and at lunch won't be the same.
And, I'm sure I'll never find someone to give the same response to our morning greeting!
Keep in touch!
And, don't turn New York on us!
yo shane, as far as i know, chis is jsut in a league w/ his bro and kids at k-state. i never got an invite this year, and i already have two leagues, so i prolly won't join another. make the most of your last few days in t-town...it really does rock :).
I really justdidn't want there to be an odd number of comments on here. I'm not paying attention during my laptop training course. I'm at School. At 4:43. How boring is that?
What an interesting evening I've had. Can't wait to tell you all about it. Love you
Post a Comment
<< Home