I love Wednesday!

Sometimes, it's just a wonderful day.

My day really didn't start out all that great, to be honest. I mean, sitting down in Big Al's (the "restaraunt in the basement of the campus center) at midnight working on a take home Greek test really isn't my idea of fun at all. Especially when you are walking people through it... It's good for me though, I suppose, to try to work on stuff more slowly and have to explain it to people. I mean, I work on it better and I learn it because I'm teaching it at the same time. But still... I worked on it til one, not at all enjoyable.

I walked Michelle back to her dorm since I was working with her on it (and had been for... Ok, we technically started at 8:30 because I was in and out to Ryan's birthday party) for a while, so I did the whole polite chivalry thing :-) We got to the front door and I saw another one of my friends working dilligently at her computer, and I thought "That's gotta stop." So I threw a snowball at her window and scared the heck out of her... It was hilarious.

I came back down to my room in a decent mood, but still a little out of it (Greek does that to me). I walked into Josh's room since Alec was asleep and talked with him for a while. We watched the PETA commercials for the Super Bowl that were (rightfully) banned from being shown. After we talked for a while, he said that he wanted to finish watching I, Robot because he'd never seen it (we'd watched the first hour the night before). So we stayed up until 2:30 watching that before either of us went to bed.

I got up at 8:30, after the third or fourth time an alarm went off in our room. I showered, put my sweats on (I almost never wear sweats to class... weird) and walked outside with Alec. Seriously, it's a freaking nice day outside. Like really, it's just absolutely beautiful. I could be outside in shorts and a t-shirt no problem. I stinkin love it a whole whole lot.

I got to Intro to Christ and class was ok, we talked about Henry VIII who of course I know nothing about... right.

Literature of the Western World with Dr. Bressler is just an amazing class. He and I are really comfortable with each other because we have personalities that are somewhat similar... We both make fun of each other in class :-) The last book we read was The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Well, the class read it, I didn't... I still got 20/20 on the quiz though. Last class after we talked about Lewis for a long time, I asked him if he was going to talk about the right order to read through the Chronicles. He said we'd talk about it last time...
So today that's all we did. He went through the different arguments to read them through in which ways and talked about lots of different aspects of them. If I didn't have class in half an hour I'd go more in depth, but they tell me that class is a good thing to do around here :-)

Then at chapel Nickole Braddock, the founder of OneVoice ministries talked about sexual abuse. It was clear that because of some personal history with it it was s difficult subject for her to talk about, even after years of traveling and speaking about it, but it was an excellent chapel. At one point she was talking about audiences she'd had in the past and she pointed to me and started talking about a guy "like this fella right down here in the front" who was really energetic and loud... My friends and I all got a kick out of that :-D

So I'm a little hyper with the smileys today :-) But it's ok, because I'm in a good mood! After chapel I walked to the campus center for lunch and hung out with Sean Read, Matt Gibbel, and Sarah (I won't embarass myself by trying to spell her last name!) something or other who yelled at me for not getting out of the girls dorm fast enough last night. Then I went up and ate lunch with Sean and Matt and Ben Valentine, a guy I kind of know from ROTC because Alec is in it. We talked about random stuff until we finished eating. It was exciting.

This post really should stop now, because I'm sure it lacks any sense of coherence at all. But I'm in a good mood, so you should read it anyways. If you havn't already stopped. Why am I still talking?

I walked downstairs after hanging out with random people upstairs for a while and I talked to Sean some more about random stuff like a Youth lock-in that I might help out with. Sean wanted to know if I'd for sure be able to make it through staying up all night... I laughed.

Then I went over and talked to Rebecca Crouch, who I don't really know how I know. I know she is good friends with Paul and Katrina and Sean and the seniors that I hang out with, but that's about it. But she works in the Athletic Department and so I talk to her every time I go up to the gym for anything... Speaking of which, I really need to start working out again. Or doing anything physical. After being sick last week, I feel lazy and lethargic and I have energy that needs to be burned! HEHEHEHE.... BE SCARED!!!

sO REALLY, i HAVE NO IDEA WHY i'M STILL TYPING. aND i'M HAVING FUN PLAYING WITH CAPS LOCK.

bUT i GAVE rEBECCA A BACK RUB (AND WAS THOROUGHLY DISGUSTED BY THE RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF HUGE KNOTS IN HER BACK) AND TALKED WITH HER ABOUT SOME STUFF INCLUDING HER RECENT BREAKUP AND HOW SHE IS HANDLING IT AND ALL KINDS OF STUFF LIKE THAT. tHEN pAUL ENDED UP IN OUR CONVERSATION AND i TALKED WITH THEM FOR LIKE HALF AN HOUR. tHEN i WALKED rEBECCA UP TO HER OFFICE BECAUSE i DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO COME BACK DOWN TO sOUTH AND CLEAN LIKE i WAS GOING TO.

Are you annoyed with my playing with caps lock yet? I sure am! On my way back down here to grab my music for voice lessons (among which is the song Stars from Les Mis) I saw my friend Joe Stempert (who is maybe one of the most quality guys I have ever met) driving back down so I got into his car and drove down with him and talked about our mutual getitn screwed out of RA/HR positions. I have to admit though, his situation sucks a whole lot more than mine... He had it all locked up until some crap happened that is totally not fair to him at all and shouldn't have affected his hiring in the least. But he is definitely taking it well and realizing that it is the Lord's plan for him and so that was good.

So I don't know why at all. Maybe it's just the incredibly wonderful weather that God is blessing us with here at Houghton (although I have been assured it will drop below ten degrees this weekend... Hurrah!), and maybe it was that yesterday also was a stellar day (I'll save that conversation until I get to call my parents and tell them about it, because it was freaking awesome!!) but I'm just in a crazy good mood. It's also because I don't have Greek class today:-P I have a ton of energy even though my body is tired, I am just really happy and in a good mood. For some reason, I thought you all might like to know :-)

Well, I suppose I have to go to choir. I really do.

TTFN, Ta Ta For Now!

"Forgive Me"

Inspired by a Foolish Things song (in blue)...

I seem to be cursed,
To be blessed
At everything I put my hand too.

That was my thought at the beginning of the week. Really, I couldn't understand it. I just keep trying to get involved with new things, and I keep getting into them. It seemed to me that God just kept blessing me by allowing me to be involved in them. For a while this was incredibly exciting. But the more I thought about it and interacted with people, I saw that I was only allowing myself to be stretched and overextended in ways that are somehow less than healthy. And I mean that on every level... Spiritually, mentally, relationally, physically, socially, emotionally, I just felt stretched and pulled apart. And there I was, trying to add yet another activity for next year...

Forgive me when religion's been my God,
And all that I do denies you are there...

It was this crazy cycle. See an activity, realize that I have a gift there, see what I need to do to get involved, get involved. It just didn't fail. I kept accruing all these activities, all these demands on my time. I kept seeing my God-given gifts as things that I had to use in some official position that had some definite time limit. Everything just kept buliding up, and my time to stop and realize certain things was quickly being thrown out the window.

But You're there...

Yes, God has given me many gifts. Yes, He has allowed me to be in a place where there are so many avenues for me to use those gifts. And yes, He wants me to use those gifts. But not at the expense of knowing Him...

Did I forget you were listening?

I was filling up His place with activities. That isn't to say that I'm still not - But at least now I am conscious of it. And, as the quickest way to progress, I'm trying to regress.

Could I deceive the one who's given me my heart?

I'm trying to be deliberate in how I spend my time. The people I hang out with, the activities I do. And because I'm starting to see that, not making RA for next year strangely doesn't bother me. Sure, I have questions about why certain people made it and I didn't, or what there was that kept me from making it. But more and more as I think about it I am trying not to ask those questions, and simply accept it. I have had two of my friends who did make it express shock that I didn't, and offer words of comfort and solace, and that has been enough.

And besides - I'm sure that Gabe et al. had their reasons. But above that, what if it is just that God didn't want me to be there? He is finally drawing a line and saying "no, that is not where I want your heart!. That is not what I want you to spend your time doing. You may have a gift in that area, but it is other gifts that you should be using." He's telling me, "You can't fool Me, I created you. You think you know what you want to do, but you don't. Only I know the way to satisfy the longings that your heart is experiencing. And no matter how I have to get you there, it will happen. Push, prod, pull, or pick you up and throw you into it, you'll make it there.
Trust Me, I know..."

But You're there...

Signs, Times, and Tears

I'm not really sure how I feel about this one. I wrote it Friday morning while I was in Lit. of the Western World and we were watching a video about C.S. Lewis that I'd already seen before. It's in a different format on the paper, and I may put that up at a later time, because I think that it looks cool that way, but I'm not sure that it would turn out the same in a blogger window.

I always feel weird about how a lot of my poetry tends to end up turning towards God. I mean, I guess that it's a good thing but every now and then I feel it's rather Deus Ex Machina and I only do it because I can't end it another way. This one fits without the third section, so I could have left it out, but I didn't feel right doing that. Oh well.

I think that I may start writing on here quite a bit more, and not only poetry. My Sociology class has shown / is showing me that for what I can do with words, I can't always get them out on the page. College says that this is a problem.

Enjoy.


It rained today,
And I don't know,
But that could be a sign;
Of what,
I'm sure that I can't see,
It's messing with my mind.

The weather
It is beautiful,
I'd love this all the time;
Love what,
I'm sure that I don't know,
It's messing with my mind.

A song I hear,
Of Adam's kind,
It makes me want to cry;
Hear him,
I'm sure that I can not,
It's messing with my mind.


The snow I'll see,
But can not yet,
Why that could be a sign;
Snow come,
I'm sure that I won't know,
It's messing with my mind.

That weather,
It was beautiful,
I loved it at the time;
Love still,
I'm sure that I may yet,
It's messing with my mind.

A song I hear,
The first time right,
And now I start to cry;
Weep now,
I'm sure that I might not,
It's messing with my mind.


My heart of love
Is givn' away,
This surely is the sign;
To whom,
I'm sure that I know now,
And He has made my mind.

My thoughts of love
Are not my own,
I start to see this time;
See now,
I'm sure in truth I do,
It starts to clear my mind.

My life of love,
I want to live,
For always will I cry;
For tears,
I'm sure that I do love,
For He has cleared my mind.