Nouwen and I
I have recently become a determinist, I think. At least, I find much more freedom and joy in the thoughts of life as a determinist who believes that the only free will can be the free will out of God's will and into sin. It really is a much more beautiful system that way.
The words that I just read from Henri Nouwen pretty much describe my life exactly as it is right now:
"But human withdrawal is a very painful and lonely process, because it forces us to face directly our own condition in all its beauty as well as its misery. When we are not afraid to enter into our own center and concentrate on the stirrings of our soul, we come to know that being alive means being loved. This experience tells us that we can only love because we are born out of love, that we can only give because our life is a gift, and that we can only make others free because we are set free by Him whose heart is greater than ours. When we have found the anchor places for our lives in our own center, we can be free to let others enter into the space created for them and allow them to dance their own dance, sing their own song, and speak their own language without fear. Then our presence is no longer threatening and demanding but inviting and liberating."
Mostly - as it was so very true in high school, for those of you that knew me then - I am just incredibly scared of knowing myself, for as Nouwen wrote a few pages earlier, the wound of my loneliness does indeed run deep.
But if I can't enter into it on my own and learn from it, I can't ever expect it to change or to heal.
The words that I just read from Henri Nouwen pretty much describe my life exactly as it is right now:
"But human withdrawal is a very painful and lonely process, because it forces us to face directly our own condition in all its beauty as well as its misery. When we are not afraid to enter into our own center and concentrate on the stirrings of our soul, we come to know that being alive means being loved. This experience tells us that we can only love because we are born out of love, that we can only give because our life is a gift, and that we can only make others free because we are set free by Him whose heart is greater than ours. When we have found the anchor places for our lives in our own center, we can be free to let others enter into the space created for them and allow them to dance their own dance, sing their own song, and speak their own language without fear. Then our presence is no longer threatening and demanding but inviting and liberating."
Mostly - as it was so very true in high school, for those of you that knew me then - I am just incredibly scared of knowing myself, for as Nouwen wrote a few pages earlier, the wound of my loneliness does indeed run deep.
But if I can't enter into it on my own and learn from it, I can't ever expect it to change or to heal.
posted by Foolish Thing Nine at 6:26 AM
3 Comments:
So what other philosopher (if you can even call him that) was a determinist - Freud. Haha. Do you really want to get into that boat.
Is there a specific event that has caused you to let this be known or is God just puting it on your heart to write?
If you ever read Nouwen without having to think and re-think, you didn't really read him!
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