Introspection, O how I hate you!
I go to school on a really beautiful campus. There are times when I know that and other times when I talk about it (at least I think there are) but today I really feel that. I'm sitting on the chapel steps after chapel, reading and just having some time to myself - shocking I know - and watching the clouds blow in over the trees and the NAB and library. The sky is a gorgeous blue today, and the sun is out. I know that in osme ways I only feel so strongly about how beautiful it is out today because it has been grey and dreary for so long, but I can't help it. This campus is gorgeous, and as the weeks pass and the leaves change, it will only be more so :-)
I tried to upload a picture, but Blogger hates me right now. Probably because I'm on wireless and the connection can be iffy.
Anyways, I was talking with my parents last night about the way I live my life, and there are some interesting things that came up during/out of that conversation. My friend Kyle wants to get his PhD in English and teach at the college level, and even as a sophomore he is practically married already... It's kind of ridiculous, to tell the truth. But he is so caught up in that dream that he has for his life that he is really struggling right now to enjoy each day as it comes.
I am very much the opposite. I live each day as it comes, taking each moment and making what I can of it with what I have, but I don't have any idea where my life is heading or how I'm going to get there. Generally I think that that's a great thing, but now I'm starting to wonder.
I really do believe that it's good not to worry about the future, to know that it's not in your hands and that you'll be fine - His eye is on the sparrow, after all. But what I realized this last week, and got hammered into me talking with my parents, is that you still need to plan and prepare for what is coming ahead. Not that you need to be worried and bogged down in that, or that you need to cause yourself all sorts of undue stress about it, like so many do, but how can you get where you are going if you don't know what target you are aiming at?
it's caused me to spend a lot of time thinking about what I'm going to major in, why I want that major, what I'm going to do with that major, what I want the rest of my life to look like. Do I have a clearly defined future that I want? Heck no. Am I searching for what God wants me to do? Yeah. Am I serachgin for what I want to do? Yeah. Amd I trying to make those two things fit together? Yeah. But it's hard, and I don't like it, and I hate not having anything to do with my time and having to do all this thinking and introspection and soul-searching! It really drives me crazy, because I don't know what to do with it. And it makes it harder for me to focus and get things done because I'm so unused to it, and I haven't adjusted yet.
But I do believe that it's a good thing for me to do. And so I'll keep trying to take time for myself, sitting and listening to music and thinking about my life as it fits in with life in general, and more importantly what God's view of life is. and I'll probably continue to hate it, at least for a while. But it's good for me, so try and try again. Right now, at least, I'm perfectly content with where I am. Todd Agnew is singing, the clouds are blocking the sun, but only for now, and this campus is a truly beautiful place.
All of this, God has blessed me with.
I tried to upload a picture, but Blogger hates me right now. Probably because I'm on wireless and the connection can be iffy.
Anyways, I was talking with my parents last night about the way I live my life, and there are some interesting things that came up during/out of that conversation. My friend Kyle wants to get his PhD in English and teach at the college level, and even as a sophomore he is practically married already... It's kind of ridiculous, to tell the truth. But he is so caught up in that dream that he has for his life that he is really struggling right now to enjoy each day as it comes.
I am very much the opposite. I live each day as it comes, taking each moment and making what I can of it with what I have, but I don't have any idea where my life is heading or how I'm going to get there. Generally I think that that's a great thing, but now I'm starting to wonder.
I really do believe that it's good not to worry about the future, to know that it's not in your hands and that you'll be fine - His eye is on the sparrow, after all. But what I realized this last week, and got hammered into me talking with my parents, is that you still need to plan and prepare for what is coming ahead. Not that you need to be worried and bogged down in that, or that you need to cause yourself all sorts of undue stress about it, like so many do, but how can you get where you are going if you don't know what target you are aiming at?
it's caused me to spend a lot of time thinking about what I'm going to major in, why I want that major, what I'm going to do with that major, what I want the rest of my life to look like. Do I have a clearly defined future that I want? Heck no. Am I searching for what God wants me to do? Yeah. Am I serachgin for what I want to do? Yeah. Amd I trying to make those two things fit together? Yeah. But it's hard, and I don't like it, and I hate not having anything to do with my time and having to do all this thinking and introspection and soul-searching! It really drives me crazy, because I don't know what to do with it. And it makes it harder for me to focus and get things done because I'm so unused to it, and I haven't adjusted yet.
But I do believe that it's a good thing for me to do. And so I'll keep trying to take time for myself, sitting and listening to music and thinking about my life as it fits in with life in general, and more importantly what God's view of life is. and I'll probably continue to hate it, at least for a while. But it's good for me, so try and try again. Right now, at least, I'm perfectly content with where I am. Todd Agnew is singing, the clouds are blocking the sun, but only for now, and this campus is a truly beautiful place.
All of this, God has blessed me with.
posted by Foolish Thing Nine at 9:28 AM
1 Comments:
It is a good idea to have a focus and know where you are going from the point at which you are. Dont be too serious, that is the recipe for failure, but at the same time have a focus. Wait, am I really telling you this? I dont even really have my focus and I have to start college in January! Ah! Scary. Ok. I gtg so I will TTYL.
Shelle
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