Selfishness

I love how poetry is supposed to be deep and mysterious, but mine is just me complaining. I havn't read over this at all. It will probably make a lot of people mad at me. but hey, it's kind of supposed to. The ending and beginning lines nicely fit my state though. Have fun reading!

Yeah, right.


What am I to do?

The paths they lie before me,
As different as can be,
And what will happen,
When I choose,
I can not clearly see.

I thought I'd made the choice before,
I thought but didn't know,
And now my heart is burning fast,
It isn't flaming slow.

I just got told, the other day,
That burning out was bad;
That I should choose my path and fast,
Or I'd lose all I had.

Well I am losing it, and fast,
It's running all away;
I could grab it, keep it close,
And then it sure would stay.

But I'm not sure I want to,
I might not have the strength.
My patience lasted long it has,
But has it that much length?


Thank you for proving
That even though I couldn't
Manipulate your wording,
My understanding wasn't wrong.
I'd really be lost
If I thought that you meant
What it was you seemed to say.

He doesn't know,
She said,
He means so much to us.
She wasn't thinking of
Him at all,
Her wants were all
Her own.

The evidence it came today,
She called and he was there.
But as they talked it was quite clear,
She didn't know he cared.

He tried to show her that he did,
He tried the methods all,
But she was lost, and couldn't see,
And now her faith has fallen.

But have I chosen the wrong way,
In coming here to stay?
The choice it seemed,
Was simple then,
A break for me away from them.
But now I see,
It couldn't be,
They never really said,
That though they pushed me all to go,
They loved the sweat I bled.

In choosing something for myself,
I chose away from you.
I was told that that was good;
Did you lie, or speak it true?

Now what am I to do?

I'm updating... In my free time... Is something wrong?

So, there is really no point to this post. Other than filling time because I'm bored.
So today I walked down the hill to my dorm after my class at 10, and had an e-mail from my voice professor. It informed me that I had studio class... at 11. So I walked all the way up the hill and across campus to the music building. I walk into the recital hall, and there is Mrs. Cox and five other girls that take voice from her. And they are talking about some creative exercise that they did last semester while I was in FYI (First Year Introduction, a huge waste of my time) and how they want to do it this semester. So they talk about it for maybe an entire minute, and then they decide that since half the class isn't there, they'll just do it next time. So we got to leave for the day.
So now, I am sitting in the campus center, filling you in on the pointless details of my Tuesday because I have been too busy over the last couple weeks to actually talk to you. Which makes me sad, there are a couple people that keep calling and missing me, and I just havn't had the time to ever call back. Once the weekend hits it should be better though. I was hoping to have last weekend to catch up with soe people, but I ended up having Carousel Day (a group interview/team building activity fo RA hopefuls), rehearsal for Koinonia (the weekly Sunday night worship service that I am on the leadership team for), Underworld: Evolution, which I went to see on Saturday night (and was sweet, by the way... minus a couple pretty raunchy (and needless) sex scenes). Then Sunday I went to church, lunch, worked on homework, went to Koin sound check, dinner, prayer before Koin, Koin, and then a training meeting for the missions trip to Russia that I'm going on.
Oh yeah... Over easter break I'll be going on a mission trip to Russia, I'm really excited. Not only is it a sweet chance to travel and go to Russia and just have an amzing experience, but the whole reason that we are going is to work at a children's orphanage and day camp, and then a youth leadership retreat - all stuff that I am passionate about and can't wait to do. Despite the langauge barrier :-)

Speaking of that, I have to take some pictures for my Visa application to the guy in charge of the trip. So, after this short post (that I had the free time to do, just consider that one!), I must bid a fond farewell to the two or three of you that will actually read this.